A Community Gone Overboard: T

A Community Gone Overboard:
The Yaoi Fandom

Important: Read below first
Now, before I even begin to explain this, I’d like to first say that if you cannot get past even the first few paragraphs, you are probably one of the people I am referring to in this. If you happen to get to the end of this I urge you to spread this around. If you are not mature enough mentally or emotionally to handle the content, then turn back now, as you will be offended. This is not a joke and should not be taken lightly; I’ve been watching anime and reading manga long enough that my statements in this are true as can be, and I see an issue. I would also like to state up front that I am not referring to the soft-core fans, or those who just like it a little bit. No, I am referring to those who openly and constantly love and obsess over hardcore yaoi, those who even bash straight pairings and need a daily fix of yaoi fan-fiction; those are the ones who I am referring to in this case.
Even if this issue cannot be resolved or taken care of in any way, I just want people to know, that is all.
And also, I would actually like some feedback on this, whether you hated it or loved it.


When I first began to watch anime about 5 years ago, I was in middle school. I was very excited by the visual and emotional appeal of the shows I was watching, and at the time, I only thought they were well drawn cartoons; I did not yet know what to call them. I did a little research on the first anime I had watched by the name of “Blood+” and found out what to call these new cartoons: Anime.
Now, here I am typing this out for a reason that I know others sympathize with.
About 2 to 3 years ago, I happened to notice something odd…I would look up a photo of a male character from an anime and there they would be. However, mixed in with these would be photos of that same character with another male character from the same show in a rather compromising situation. I did not know at the time what this was, or what I was to think of it, so I simply dismissed it and ignored it. Lately however, it is impossible to ignore. At this point, I now know what it is called and why I have an outstanding vendetta with it; people use the term “Yaoi” to describe males in these situations from the anime community.
There are many problems with this fandom, and I am not saying yaoi is wrong or that it should be banned, but simply heed my words while you read this: I have done my research, and I think at the very least this should be read and understood fully, before an argument can be formulated, if any.


First off, the generation I am born into has the internet and all of this technology with limitless potential, but also, limitless neglect in terms of responsible use and proper etiquette. For example, you can go to Google right now and type in something like a famous female actress. Look at all the results, and you can’t tell me you don’t see pornographic web sites in plain sight. This same type of problem is prevalent in the anime community in the form of yaoi, and “hentai”: hentai being the term for standard anime pornography (I will not be focusing on the hentai however).
One of my main concerns is the fact that I see a young generation of people getting into this community of yaoi fans. Usually, they are young girls, and I have seen them as young as 11 saying things along the lines of, “Yaoi is so cute!” or something similar. Yaoi is by no means cute. Let me give you an example: there is an anime out there called, “Junjou Romantica” I am only familiar with it due to the fact that it is a popular reference for someone who does not understand what yaoi is. As for the show, I cannot tell you it is cute by any means; in that show, I have knowledge that an older male forced a younger male to have sex with him in front of a mirror. Can you honestly tell me that is cute? Considering everything together, no, I don’t normally have people calling something of that nature cute.
Example number two comes from the fact that, in most situations, yaoi is two males having sex. One is usually the submissive one with feminine features and personality, otherwise known as the “uke” the dominant, usually more masculine male is known as the “seme”. There is no problem with that being the case, but I guarantee in most situations that the dominant male will either rape, force, or somehow convince the other male to have sex with him. This is not always the case, but it is a very common theme I see, and I think it is vile. You would not normally think of this situation in real life as being, “cute” or “romantic”. Something of that caliber would normally end with the male forcing the other to be put in jail, especially if it was forced upon him. Now, I also take into account that there are watered down yaoi readings or pictures, but I find them less and less common lately as they are replaced by hardcore images and writings.
The problem with the above two points is that yes, they are very desensitizing to people who see them on a daily basis, with or without them wanting to see. Such is the case with me, as I find it hard to not see it. The communities of people who enjoy and are in search of yaoi have no problem with this fandom growing and expanding. The fact is, they do not consider the thoughts or feelings of people like me, who would rather not have to see yaoi on a daily basis. Some time ago, in fact, people would have to search vigorously for porn online, or it was not available, and yet look at what has happened, it’s quite unacceptable.
And as I understand that things such as yaoi and porn are out there, there are still too many questions about these things that need to be answered, and here and now, they will be addressed.


The first question and the most prevalent that most people such as I ask about yaoi is, “Why do people like it?” There are many answers, but based on what I have seen it is a few simple scenarios I’ve narrowed down, and it has to do with the mentality of the persons who enjoy the genre. (The scenarios below are not all there are in terms of reasons, but they are most common.)
A common thing I have seen more and more of as of late is that those who like yaoi say something along the lines of, “At first I hated it, but now I like it. Give it a while and you’ll like it too.” I find that highly disagreeable as I have liked anime for many years, and not once have I found yaoi to be desired or erotic to me; the thought has never even crossed my mind, and hopefully never will. The fact of the matter is that, that statement is true in cases where the person is around it so much that they simply learn to accept it, and follow along; a simple case of the lost will to fight, or the want to follow along with the crowd.
However, further investigations and facts will help reveal the in-depth reason for the loss of will. Take for example, in the beginning, they may have thought yaoi was gross or disgusting; but there is a predisposition thought in the back of their minds that thinks it is sexually exciting for them; whether they are aware of the thought or not. And soon enough, if that thought is there, coupled with the exposure and curiosity, they turn into liking it. Although, I am not resigning everyone to that case, it is simply the psycho-analysis of the issue.
The simple hard fact is that yaoi is a twisted, too perfect fantasy between two impossibly beautiful males. The reason females enjoy yaoi could be due to the fact that they put themselves in place of one of the males in these situations. To back this up, go look at a site such as Facebook where role-playing anime communities are widespread; go and see one of the many people who role-play a male anime character. They are usually female, and they usually change the personality of the character they role-play into their own, making it them in a sense. This usually involves turning the character’s personality bubbly, when it is normally not, changing them into a “neko” (A term for a character turned into a human-cat hybrid) with a cute personality or into a female or “fem” version. You can also look at a site such as Fanfiction.net and find that roughly 75-80% of the stories on that site are yaoi, (depending on the type of show) written by fans. The reason why? To imagine themselves in place of one of the characters in the story, put simply. While this is not the case for all of those who like it, it is one of the most common connections I see.
Another scenario for this might be due to the fact that they simply like how the men look, so they, for one reason or another decide to pair them together. You can also see pairings between two male characters who either despise one another or do not even know one another. They may pair the two who hate each other for the prospect of a hateful romance that somehow turns into love miraculously, or just as a so-called “crack” pairing that is meant to be funny; and they may pair the two who do not know each other simply because they are both attractive, or they think their personalities seem to match. These explanations are much smaller pieces of the puzzle however, compared to the first point.
Now, the above two points may not be the exact reason why individuals like yaoi, they are simply the most easily put and major reasons.
The second question I find myself asking on more than one occasion, and I’m sure others have asked themselves is, “Why yaoi, when there is also yuri?” I admit, that is hard to explain, and I honestly have no inkling of why yaoi was the subgroup of anime that suddenly exploded into massive proportions, rather than yuri (yuri is two females in a relationship). I personally find two males having sex more unbelievable than two females. The reason is mainly due to the fact that males are generally considered more, “rough” and “less susceptible to emotions” than females, and are less likely to love another male as quickly and as willingly as they are portrayed to do. But this is not about my personal beliefs so much as it is more based on the things I have experienced and acknowledge as facts. And the fact is that there are more females out there who have grown and nurtured the yaoi fan base rather than yuri, and so it has grown substantially due to that. What I mean by this is, a person who likes yaoi will go out and persuade their friends or other people to watch it, and from there, if those people happen to decide they like it, the fandom grows. As for why they like it, those reasons have more than likely already been discussed previously.
The third question is, “What is the mentality of the type of person who likes yaoi?” and that question is a bit harder to explain. I happen to find, based on my research that yes, there are mental and emotional reasons very commonly associated with the over-obsession on yaoi, or the simple love of it.
The first reason based on what I have uncovered is that many of the females (or males, in some cases) who like yaoi are themselves either homosexual or bisexual. Now, this is most certainly not the case for everyone, so do not think that it is. However, this is a reoccurring fact that I’ve found. You see, if the person who likes yaoi is themselves in a similar state as the characters, then their liking of it can be much easier to explain. They find solace in the fact that these anime boys are similar to them, and so they find that, in a way, attractive. In other words, they can relate to these characters. If the person happens to be a female who likes yaoi, it could be that fact, coupled with the curiosity of the male body and its anatomy, or so to speak. If it is a male who likes yaoi, it could definitely be due to relating to the characters, as they are both male; and putting himself in the shoes of one of the characters. I would like to mention now though, that I am most certainly not saying being homosexual is wrong in any way shape or form, there is no proof that it is; so please do not assume that.
The second reason I happen to see is that, for one reason or another, many of those people who enjoy yaoi happen to have an unrealistic viewpoint of the world, different from how others might see it. They might imagine things in a more fantastical way, and that alters how they in turn view yaoi; they may see the hardcore yaoi as cute or innocent due to this. I also find, based on what I have seen over these years, that the people who enjoy yaoi seem to be rather closed-minded. They latch onto something and stick with it, refusing to hear the words of those who would oppose their opinion or trample their favorite pairing. Of course, when I say this, I am generally referring to the type of fans I seem to see a lot of, because I am well aware there are those out there who like the genre, but only to some small extent, or do not like the hard core type of yaoi.
The third reason is simply put, a general clouded mind, when I say that I mean naïve. It may sound harsh of me to deduce something like that, but I must say, it is a part of this I cannot ignore. If you look at the way some of them type, you will see what I mean. In a general sense, they lack proper thought processes and thus, it is reflected in their tastes and writing style, it is something you can see. And while it can also be due to their age or lack of grammar that they type as such, it is still a possibility.
The fourth reason may be more common than you think, take a look at Facebook or Tumblr, and you will see that many of them have issues at home, or in their lives. They are likely depressed and want to get away from life. So, yaoi gives them the opportunity to escape through to a world of their own making, in a way, where there are beautiful men and bad things are way less likely to happen. It is a case of escapism, and it has become too rampant.
The fifth reason is a smaller reason but still existing. In this case, the mentality is based off of where they were raised, and how. If they were raised in a more restricted place, it reasons that they are more likely to want to escape, as mentioned above. If they were raised in a freer place, it translates to wanting to express themselves, in this strange sort of way, or simply to fit in.  
So, those are the most basic and deciphered questions and answers about this fandom. Of course there are many more questions out there, but I find that those above were questions that can be answered based on fact and experience, rather than speculation.


Once, a friend of mine who likes yaoi told me, “I’m afraid to tell my boyfriend that I like yaoi.” I asked her, “And why do you think that is?” She didn’t reply. I told her though, that it wasn’t normal to like something like that to the extreme that she does. And when she told me that she liked it, I asked her why; she didn’t have a real answer, she just said it was “cute” and I asked her if she still thought it would be cute in real life. “Would you watch two men have sex in real life? Would you enjoy it? Would you pair them together? What is one was much older than the other and forced the younger one to have sex with him; would you still think it was cute?” She said that yaoi was different than that.
Well, she’s free to believe that. But just because it’s a cartoon, and just because the males are attractive doesn’t make a difference, it’s the same thing, even if it isn’t real.
You see, the whole reason I decided to take time to think and write this up, is because I see a highly problematic fan society; and although I understand I cannot reverse the effects it has, I’d still like to get people to truly think what they are doing, to get people to truly think. And as much as I hate to see it, people are doing the exact opposite of that. So far all I have seen is hate exchanged between the two groups (“anti-yaoi” and “yaoi-fans”) in the form of ill-gotten and baseless communication; only serving to worsen the problem.
I’d like to take the time to thank those who have read this far, as I am almost done writing this. If you were one of those out there who like yaoi, even better of you to have gotten this far, because I at least hope you have seen a glimpse of the problems those of us who do not like yaoi have; and I hope you will, at the very least consider my words, and possibly start a change. And if you have considered, and this has gotten you thinking; I honestly, truly appreciate that, and I respect you.
All I’d like to say is that, yaoi should have never been blown out of proportion like it has. I truly think that it should have stayed a sub-group; yet instead now, me, as well as many others have to see our favorite characters be changed into something they truly aren’t; something that the author never intended to be. I would have never written this if the pairings of two males stayed within the yaoi anime, but it is so farfetched that is has gone as far as seeping into Harry Potter or Lord of the rings; titles not even anime related, not even cartoons, that have been turned into something completely different. Not only that, but yaoi should be in certain fan websites, instead of widespread like it is. I remember an innocent time before I ever knew about yaoi, and before it became what it is now; but we will never get that back.
The damage that has been done, whether you see it as damage or not, will never be reversed. Because the fact is, yaoi has become too widespread and too out in the open. What was meant to be something on a small scale is now being exposed to a younger and younger audience than it should be, and that is a sobering thought on my part. The more I think about it, the more I realize that it’s not yaoi that’s the problem, it’s the people who have gotten into it and have spread it around so much that is a problem; and one of their biggest problems is that they do not see or understand what they are doing.
And the thing is, people who enjoy yaoi will not understand what I have written here; but whether they know it or not, those reasons as to why they like it that I have said above are probably right. Deep down in the subconscious, one might not even be aware of the reason, or think there is no reason why they like it; but there is, and they simply cannot see it for themselves.
I am saddened to even have to be writing something such as this, but I feel I must speak for those who are silenced by the pressure they are put under by the fans, or those who can’t get their thoughts out without eliciting anger, or even those who have been pushed out of liking anime by these fans. And even though I would like to say I am not angry or upset over this, I am; but I refuse to send ridiculous hate messages to people who will not listen.
As a final thought, as being part of this generation, I find that I see this problem in not only the anime community, but also in just about every other community I can think of. People are just plain inconsiderate, and it doesn’t make sense to me how we’ve gotten to this point. But, as I’ve said, there’s no going back now, we’re in too deep.
But honestly, is it really so incorrect to see yaoi or yuri as a form of entertainment as being wrong? Have we deteriorated so much as a whole that things that are normally meant for personal, private moments and places are out in the open? Please think about it, for the sake of the anime, video game, comic book, and fandoms in general. Think about it so that in the future, anime isn’t known to be just pornographic material; is that what we really want? Is that what the authors and creators of our obsessions really want?
Because, it’s really not…

I thank you for taking the time to read this, please consider my words. And although I have not said all I may be thinking about the topic, this is all I can truly put down, to make it understandable, even though I have much more I can say. It has been hard to put my thoughts down like this, but I had to, and with all that I did type, I apologize if any of it was slightly in a confusing order or seems to not fully connect.  And please know that if you were offended by this, I apologize. But these are facts that I have been researching for a long time, and that needed to be said. I honestly hope I have sparked some sort of ignition in the minds of people that need it most.
I know people will say things about this or just not care, and I’m expecting that, I’m expecting people to be mean about it, its part of the problem. People are stubborn and refuse to accept things, and that’s just the way things are. Although, being that I am only human, I am not saying I will accept the way things are, I would like to see change.
I would like to mention that I myself am not a homophobic person, but seeing shows that I watch, shows that I grew up with are turning into this, turns me sour about the subject; and I am positive many others feel the same.
I would also like to say that I am not referring to those of you who like yaoi as having mental deficiencies or lack of intelligence, please keep that in mind. I’ve kept it mature, and I hope that if you decide to say something about this, you will respect my maturity and be the same.
Thank you
Sincerely,
-A 16 year old girl